“Hard times ain’t gonna rule my mind no more” – Gillian Welch in her song “Hard Times”

It has been daunting to share anything here for a long time. I haven’t felt an abundance of hopeful musings, thanks to the eternal pandemic circumstances we are all under. And like that is my role, too, to blaze through this time unscathed. To be a warrior. To be “the type of person” who can survive isolation and loneliness and anything else with a smile on her face.

The reason I started this blog, moved to Wyoming, have done most things in my life is because I believed them to be some portal to transformation. Hard earned, dedicated, fought for. And I don’t not value these aspects of myself and of all of us.

But I’ve been taking long walks down white out Wyoming roads. And the other day on one such journey I heard the universe download “there are a million different versions of yourself, feel free to try each one on with loving curiosity”. Warrior Hannah is fine and well and in no jeopardy of fading away. What about instead a version who doesn’t make life any harder than it needs to be? Who chooses ease and joy over unnecessary suffering?

Some suffering is unfortunately not avoidable, this we know. But other suffering absolutely is. Think of all the imaginary rules we impose upon ourselves, the “shoulds”. I’m coming into the knowing that all the hardships other people and circumstances have imposed on me pale in comparison to the hardships I’ve imposed on myself. No one is keeping score of our arbitrary ups and downs, triumphs and needs.

Moment of Gratitude: No one is asking us to choose suffering over joy.